The Giant and the Three Golden Hairs

Three things that make china so different but also difficult to handle:

Number one is pride on their own culture. China looks back on thousands of years of history. This makes it to one of the worlds oldest continuous civilisations – and Chinese people are aware of it. China is called Zhongguo (中國 or 中国) in Chinese, which is translated “Middle/Central Kingdom” or german “Reich der Mitte”.

Number two is the Guanxi. This is a system of relations between single persons, it determines how you treat your friends and enemies, depending on how close you are with them. Guanxi is widely misunderstood by the western world. If they are connected only loosely to their business partners, it allows the Chinese to cancel contracts without worries. So family relations and friends are crucial for this. If two persons went to the same school or university, this is a good base for such a relation.

Number three goes hand in hand with it. The so called Renqing stands for gifts or favours in the social network. In order to “not loose the face” Chinese generally have return gifts that they received from close friends. In a western sense, this would be assessed as bribery, but in China it is fully legitimised.

So how to pull the hairs?

This country with its worlds biggest army is not so easy to conquer, so one has to see, how to adapt these basic customs, to find a solution for general conflicts. Hair Number one – hard to handle. Pride blinds eyes and ears. If the western world would adapt to this, we probably had to submit to Chinese rule. Not good. What about Guanxi? If Western worlds would follow the principles of Renqing (send lots of gifts to China) and just wait until China would pay its debt, wouldn’t that work? On “Chinese Gift Day” everybody would collect presents for the PRC (People’s Republic of China), and send them over to the party head office.

Well, but things in China are deeper. At the base there are tight relations. Around 80 to 90 percent of wealth is earned by cadre, the good connections rule. As mentioned above, the visit of the same school can be enough to introduce some determination in the tightness of the relation. So if you want to speak their language, it is not enough to learn the words, but also be able to read between the lines. It is just a bit hard to build up a close relation if you have just a very little in common. So, here are two ways to solve the problem: first, find out school mates of Hu Jintao and Wen Jiabao, hijack and brainwash them and at last install them on top of U.N., America and E.U. institutions. If the brain wash was successful, time will do the rest.

Just in case this doesn’t work, all that needs to be done is find possible offspring from Hu and Wen, hijack and brainwash them, and then marry them to the offspring of the leaders of the institutions above.

Once this is done, send gifts to the head office and receive the payback. Their faces won’t drop to the floor, China can keep its pride.

The Three Hairs would rest secure in the boys hands.

(This blog-post is influenced by the fairytale “The Giant with the Three Golden Hairs”)